How To Write for the American Theater

Title says it all. Thanks to one of my new favorite blogs, Threat Quality Press, for this handy chart. Just click on the image if you'd like to actually -- you know -- study this.




Also, a big shout out to a discerning and uncompromising playwright who has charted her own way as writer: Lynn Nottage. Word's out today that the Pulitzer Prize for Drama has gone to her, for her play Ruined.

Thespian 4 Ever

Those of you who sometimes follow me over to The Editing Room know that’s where I usually wax rhapsodic about things like punctuation, the mysteries of prepositional usage, and subjunctive mood. But this little gem, borrowed from the marvelous Lynn Truss book Eats, Shoots & Leaves, belongs here. Ms. Truss seems to suggest that once again we have theater to thank for western civilization:

The earliest known punctuation – credited to Aristophanes of Byzantium (librarian at Alexandria) around 200 BC – was a three-part system of dramatic notation (involving single points at different heights on the line) advising actors when to breathe in preparation for a long bit, or not-so-long bit, or a relatively short bit.

To illustrate this post, I wanted to show you some especially flagrant thespianism, but the image in question was too large to upload. So allow me to redirect you.

The satisying art of the pre-emptive strike

If only I'd had this information about three weeks ago, I could have saved myself time and tears. From those proactive people over at AngryLush, here's how to hasten the effects of the "economic downturn" and be on your way: the handy DIY Dismissal.

Beat the clock

All right. Time heals all wounds, they say, or at least it lets them callus over. It's now 18 days since I was dumped by my company, and I've worked all the way through the classic Five Stage of Whatever:

1. Denial ("is this some kind of a joke? it is, right?")
2. Bitter, bitter resentment ("after all I've done for them....")
3. Depressed listlessness alternating with euphoria
4. Irritation at being defined by the recklessness of the whole stupid turn of events
5. Acceptance (i.e., interest in a future that leaves all this behind, AKA transcendence)

Been thinking about this bloody business. And I've concluded that I can either be a victim about this ("they did this to me on purpose") or I can regard it as a gift. Because as thoughtless and unnecessary as my lay-off was (sez me), the fact is that I now have a little time. Time to find out what there is to do out there besides theater. Some way to make a living that doesn't take all day and all night and all seven days of the week.

I don't think I'm going to make it all the way to GRATEFUL. But I've definitely gotten to glad I'm not with PCS anymore.

So. Knowing me as you do, let me know if any new careers come to mind. Preferably ones that don't involve wearing paper hats.

Deja view

Many of you have probably seen the photo at left already, of the benighted fellow protesting the recent decisions of the Iowa legislature. Though it's easy to smirk at the guy, this actually saddened me. Here is this man, making so bold as to publicly misinform others and to display his own ignorance, unaware of something that I believe most people know to be a basic fact.

His hand-lettered placard reminded me of my freshman year in high school. The man who taught my Intro to Psychology course saw fit several times to refer snidely to "the homos" in class. I got my revenge at the end of the year by turning in a term paper about the preponderance of "homosexual" behavior throughout the animal kingdom, including primates.

I got an A.

Though I don't have Mr. R to harrow any more, I was still cheered by a website Cousin Tabitha linked me to this evening, called Sociological Images. This is an excerpt for a post of last year:

A same-sex penguin couple, on the right ... were segregated from the rest of the penguins because they kept stealing eggs. Sneakily, they would replace the egg with a rock and take the real egg for themselves. The zoo keepers eventually decided to give them the eggs of another penguin pair who had a poor record of parenting and, the story says, they are among the best parents at the zoo.

If only the protester picture above were on Facebook, Cousin T & I could rock his circumscribed little world.

Trust me on this

Don't miss this:

Storm Large

in

Crazy Enough

opens tomorrow night in the Ellen Bye Studio @ Portland Center Stage

April Fool's Day 2009

Today is the perfect occasion to use my new favorite phrase:
"Is this some kind of joke?"

Yes, I woke up today and looked at the calendar, and for one sweet moment I thought it was all a dream. Like The Wizard of Oz. Or Dallas. Or Taming of the Shrew or Confessions of an Opium Eater. But no. Ah, well....

Still, leave it to CynSeattle (she of the beatifically pacific Mona Lisa smile) to point out that at least by one University of Portland professor's calculation, today is a perfect day. You see, 4-01-2009 equals a perfect square, and the next one won't come for 4,000 years. Check it out:

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

JOE ROJAS-BURKE

The Oregonian Staff

You may think today is just another April Fools' Day, but Aziz Inan knows better.

And according to his calculations, we won't see another like it for 4,007 years.

Today's date, 4-01-2009, forms a seven-digit number, 4,012,009. And it's a perfect square, which means it has a square root that is a whole number: 2,003 times 2,003 equals 4,012,009.

The next perfect square April Fools' Day won't be until 6016, according to Inan, an engineering professor at the University of Portland.

Perfect-square dates are extremely rare. There were two in the 19th century and four in the 20th century, Inan says. But this century has a bounteous 24 perfect-square days.

The first was Sept. 1, 2004 (the square of 3,002). The second was last month, on March 5, 2009 (the square of 1,747).

"It went largely unnoticed," says Inan, who hopes more people pay heed to the squareness of today's date. "I'm trying to get national attention."

This is not to be confused with a square root day, when the numbers align so the month and day each equal the square root of the year, expressed in two-digit form. That happened March 3, or 3/3/09.

And while square root days have a bigger following and their own Facebook page, Inan isn't impressed. "Perfect-square days are much more sophisticated because here you are talking about seven- and eight-digit numbers."

You have noticed that on my blog, Cynthia has come to rival even the intrepid Prince Gomolvilas for scavengings from the culture of quotidiana. Which I can then swipe for my own purposes. Thanks, guys, and hoppy able foo daze to youse, 2.